Watch the Finding the Door video. Identify an event in your life that you can use. Try really feeling the event in your body before you try to connect to the essence underneath.
Let’s spend a bit more time on relationship and the connection between your internal environment, your external environment, and essence expansion. Your environmental body is the energetic connection you create, maintain, and grow between what you consider you and what you consider not you. That distinction becomes one of the main ways you determine the current threat level. Your mind decides what is you and what is not you and then your mind start assessing the risk the not you poses to your continued well-being. Your mind creates a partition between internal threats and external threats. That division forms the basis and foundation of all your relationships.
Relationships must maintain division. Relationships have degrees and boundaries, rules and habits that they conform to. Relationship requires an on-going conclusion about the state of your relationship, either you are in or out of a relationship. You are at the beginning, in the middle, or toward the end. It is past, present, or future. Relationships are casual, on-going, deep, or my personal favorite, soul-mates. Relationships have understandings.
Every interaction requires some sort of connection. 5000 cars going the opposite way on the freeway have a relationship with you. There are social constructs and understandings. An obvious one is that you will drive responsibly, that you stay in your lane and they stay in theirs.
Remember what George Carlin said, “Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
Give the movement another go. Make sure you are emotional connected and feeling expansive, vulnerable, and energized. When you are, connect to your lack of resistance. See if you can feel the difference.
Relationships are the primary way your subconscious mind determines possible threats. Every relationship is a possible threat. Allow that to absorb. Can you let yourself accept that? Ever had an argument? If so, you argued because you felt threatened. Have you felt frustrated, jealous, overwhelmed, stressed, fearful, confused, put-upon, bullied, or smothered with love? All of those are different aspects of a threatening relationship.
Do you miss your loved ones when separated? Do you long to find your soul-mate? Do you love someone so much it hurts? Yep, all of those are threat states.
The threatening nature of relationships creates a predisposition for reactivity. As you play with this, you will find that most of what feels like caring, attachment, and love is the fear of something familiar changing. You attach to things because they are familiar and less threatening than what your subconscious mind projects the future might hold.
Your subconscious loves to feel familiar. Your love is the energetic expression of the value you give to attachment.
This is meant to be sobering. What if you don’t love what you think you love the way you have convinced yourself that you love it? What if you are just afraid of the unknown? What if you are continuing to act loving because you fear the loss of the familiar? What if you hate because you are afraid of the loss of the familiar?
If love and hate have the same foundational objectives, are they really that different? Aren’t they both aspects of fear that you use to maintain your status quo?
Most of what you feel as love and hate are products of your subconscious mind. They are the paint on the walls of your boxes.
Again with the movement, this time feel the emotional upwelling, acknowledge your lowered resistance, and then while you feel the emotion, feel for what might lie beneath. Be curious and without expectation.
Generally, you use your environmental body to maintain constructs that your subconscious mind labels as safe. You observe and feel your external environment to confirm the safety of your internal environment.
And remember, the relational or environmental body encompasses everything outside of you. The weather, setting, mood, relative time, current energy configurations, future projections, and held energies from the past. What you love and what you hate are primarily determined by how much you fear losing what is familiar.
Essence is you being you without fear, without the fear of consequences, change, loss, and expectation. Essence radiates from your core, from the place in you that knows that we are all connected, that everything is connected. Essence radiates from the place that knows that kindness is inherently mutually beneficial.
If most love is conditional, essence is more than unconditional, it is love unleashed.
Essence is different than energy, but it follows a lot of the same rules. Essence exists in each of your bodies, components, and movements. It exists in each of your organs and all your cells. You can access it, expand it, and unleash it in the same way you can energy. The difference is that essence is untethered.
Once you radiate essence it continues to exist without ever changing its configuration.
Your energy radiates and stays connected to one or more of your energy fields, something that can influence and regulate it. Energy is balloons on strings, it has an administrator.
Essence inundates without secondary guidance. Essence is string-less. Essence is also balloonless, it doesn’t have a conforming shape. Essence would be similar to the air in the balloon escaping, it disperses spherically and without regard to the safety of the balloon or the fear and demands of other balloons. The air escapes without regard to what might happen next.
As you can distinguish your essence, feel for the fundamental quality difference. It will not be overtly emotional. It will feel full of confidence, acceptance, wonder, and have another undefinable quality that feels solid and radiant. It will be deeply intimate, ingrained, and impermeable.
Energy moves to create or demolish relationships. Essence radiates relationship, it defaults to fearless intimacy. Essence exists outside of the decrees of your personality and the limits set by your subconscious mind.
Essence is love without fear of loss, affection without demand for reciprocity, and kindness without boundary. You can look at essence as the expansion of welcome. Essence is the fluid expansion of your Mojo without resistance, judgment, or value. It is a systemic configuration of pervasive welcoming, wonder, and feelings of auspiciousness.
One of the things that makes love feel so impactful is that your subconscious mind attaches a fear of loss to it. The isometric tension between your appreciation and the fear of loss compounds the value. More value equals more energy held in reserve. Love feels valuable to the degree you fear its loss.
Grief is the expression of love compounding with the manifested fear that was associated with the loss. Grief is the energy of held fear moving.
Think back on the end of several relationships. Do you have any that ended at your behest and where you felt no attachment? How much love was left? How much grief did you feel after you ended it? And if you were honest with yourself, did you miss the romanticized notion you had for the future of the relationship or did you miss the person?
The division inherent in relationship requires on-going comparisons and labels. When things change, their threat level changes and new labels are required. Love might shift to hate or just to disregard. Its value can change from life-giving to life-threatening. Affection can shift to irritation, annoyance, or indifference. Take any beneficial or uplifting emotional feeling and it will have an opposite or several opposites. All of them can fade to indifference.
Keeping in mind the previous day’s focuses might not happen in just four days … after you connect with your essence, feel for a sense of potential. Ask what it might feel like if you let the essence have more space.
Essence doesn’t have a contrasting aspect. An analogy might be light. It radiates. That is its only state of being. If there is light, it is radiating. A prism or laser can manipulate light, but it still radiates. As it radiates, it doesn’t seem to involve itself with what or how it illuminates. It is not preferential or judgmental. When you turn on a lamp, it lights up everything it touches, the good, the evil, the beautiful, and discarded. It lights up the applauded and abhorred, the wanted and the unwanted, and the gross and the subtle.
Essence is like light. It radiates without partiality, preference, or prejudice. The biggest challenge to staying in your essence all the time is that it requires that you completely disregard your subconscious mind’s desire to retreat to the familiar.
Remember, it is your subconscious mind’s job to limit expression (energy movement). All expressions. It might try to limit them to a specific configuration, quality, or quantity. It will always try to limit them to something familiar. That familiarity will exist in one or more of your bodies, components, and movements.
Your subconscious mind wants to create, maintain, and label relationships. Essence eliminates relationships. Essence seamlessly blends components into fusions without labels.
Essence is on a different plane than your bodies. It is one level more foundational than Hara, two levels deeper than energy, and three levels beyond your physical body. Essence influences the other levels without directly contacting them. Your energy flows through your physical body following a set of pathways, both physical and subtle. Your essence radiates from your core through your other levels. It influences without being influenced. It is.
Your essence exists as a higher-level individuated system. It reacts and relates to your other systems but operates independently. It exists hierarchically above all your other systems and has a top down influence. An example would be the hierarchy of a business. The CEO will have a great influence on all the lesser officers, managers, and employees. His or her influence will carry the most weight.
Keep asking, wondering, and bringing a profound curiosity to what it might feel like and what might happen if your essence expanded.
Without active engagement, your essence will ebb and flow, sometimes syncing with your energy body and sometimes not. As you create a conscious connection between your bodies and your essence, you will be able to use your essence collaboratively. You will be able to upwell your essence in support of your intentions and trajectories.
You can recruit and enlist your essence to beneficially influence your life and relationships. Here are some of the ways:
Essence disarms resistance. When you radiate essence, it brings with it harmony, acceptance, and a fearless knowing. In the threat/familiar/opportunity sequence, essence quells threat and feels deeply familiar. Essence highlights opportunities. It makes opportunities feel more beneficial. Essence compels because it brings with it the qualities of charisma and enchantment.
Essence creates internal/external resonance. As you feel something deeply and allow that feeling to radiate it changes everything it contacts. It is like turning on the heater in your house. You will get warmer but so will everything else from the air to the chair.
Essence lubricates expansion. Expanding your energy is easier when your essence is helping to reduce fear and resistance. Essence smothers your subconscious mind and its constant stream of cautions. Essence allows movement without the need for threat assessment.
Essence is proximally and proportionately influential. The closer things are to you, the more your essence will influence them. That closeness might be physical, mental, emotional, or energetic. Getting closer, more transparent, and intimate with your environment will allow your essence to deepen its impact.
Create a virtual vacuum, a longing for expansion, that your essence can expand into and then spend some time allowing it to happen.
Essence neutralizes value, judgment, demand, and blame. It will help nullify those things first within your system and then in your environment. As it does, things will feel easier, change will happen more fluidly, and options will present themselves.
Essence confirms or refutes intuition. When you are able to feel your essence, you can compare and contrast it with your intuition. If they resonate, your intuition is probably correct. If not, you are placing value on some fear and calling it intuition.
Essence softens and deepens relationships. As your essence blends with the essences around you, you connect at that richer, fuller, and more profound level. Relationships evolve into much more than mental, physical, emotional, and energetic.
Essence blends your inner world with your outer world. As you learn to recognize and then expand your essence, you will feel the distinctions between you, those around you, and your environment begin to dissolve. As your essence blends with other essences, you will very readily recognize your sameness, the universal oneness that exists between all things. With that realization, experience, and acceptance, your internal actions become universal. You change the world from the inside out.
Step 1 – The intention behind this exercise is to use a highly emotional experience as a doorway for exploring your essence.
Step 2 – Find a comfortable seat, allow yourself to soften and settle until you feel relaxed and present.
Step 2 – Recreate an emotional experience from some profoundly moving event.
Step 3 – Connect to the emotions of that event and allow their energies to infuse your body. Invite and encourage the emotional energy movement.
Step 4 – As you feel your emotions flowing, acknowledge your lack of resistance, pat yourself of the back, and while you feel the emotional vibrancies, feel for something else beneath.
Step 5 – Your essence associated with that event will have a different quality than the emotions. It will feel fuller, more confident, and relaxed. Your essence abides.
Step 6 – Allow yourself some time. Feel for something you don’t associate with the memory. Feel for something you haven’t felt before.
Step 7 –Initially, your essence might feel foreign like it belongs to someone or something else. It might feel out-of-sync with the current timeline and disconnected from the memory.
Step 8 – Your essence exists outside of time. It is simultaneously connected to every moment; past, present, and future. In the case of reliving a memory, your essence relives the memory from where it is now … without any baggage, resentments, or could-have-beens.
Why it Matters – As you connect to your essence, you will gain a new understanding of your inner landscape by finding new levels of confidence, certainty, and charisma. You will discover another self. One without fear, indecision, or judgment.
Everyday Usability – The bulk of your Essence lies outside of your current personality. As you consciously connect to it, it will begin to increasingly influence every action and interaction. It will allow you to be more you, more of the time.
Progression – By practicing finding your essence in a vibrant memory, you are giving yourself a controlled experience from the past. As you get to know your essence, you will move toward feeling it closer and closer to the moment. Eventually, your essence will supplant your mind as your primary decision maker.